you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
