She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
