he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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