my vag is so smooth its legendary
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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