i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
