I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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