You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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