my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
