feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
