Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
