Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
