Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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