Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize