So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
