I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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