My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
