I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
