This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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