I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize