Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
