I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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