Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
