I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
