He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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