you guys were way drunker than both of me
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
