I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize