On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
