I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
