They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize