It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
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I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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