You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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