She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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