i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
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Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize