Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
