hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Hippo gnu deer
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize