all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
