Where is the hickey?
well you can't waste a boner
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
