So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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