my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
