I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We are two peas in an std pod
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
