I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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