I hate your face
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
