Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
no you cant smoke seaweed
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
