you didnt know i had herpes?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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