I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
