chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
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