The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
