based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think i got beer on your cat.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
