I wish they made helmets for livers.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
