my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
