I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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