the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
