yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
