True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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