I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize