I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
