so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
