No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
two words...techno handjob
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
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I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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