me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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